THE RULES. READ THEM BEFORE YOUR CARD GETS HORNY.
- 1.One brand owns the giant ad. Everyone else watches like raccoons outside a locked kebab shop.
- 2.The price to rip it away falls every second. Publicly. Shamelessly. No bids and no bloke whispering a secret number into your ear.
- 3.Pay the live minimum, or type a bigger number and build a nastier moat for whoever comes next.
- 4.More money buys resistance, not a wedding vow. A maniac with a card can still remove you immediately.
- 5.Press the big red button.
- 6.Finish paying before another sweaty thumb does. Checkout is a race, not a restaurant reservation.
- 7.You win. Your ad takes the whole front window. The previous owner becomes content.
- 8.The next takeover price starts from what you actually paid, not from your intentions or your LinkedIn bio.
- 9.Then the new takeover price starts falling again. Same rules. Fresh victim.
That's the whole beast. No velvet rope. No secret whale button. Just timing, nerve and a receipt loud enough to wake your accountant through two concrete walls.
price = max(floor, startPrice × 0.5^(elapsed / halfLife)). The price gets chopped in half every 30 minutes until it reaches €10. Buy at P and the next takeover starts at P × 2. Each reign freezes its own rules, so an admin cannot move the goalposts while you are running. Every amount is calculated in exact cents and rounded down on the server. Your card gets a real number, not a motivational estimate.
Press buy and your amount is locked for 15 seconds while payment authorizes. That locks the number, not the slot. Several buyers can hold a quote at once. The first completed payment to win the takeover transaction gets the page. The live price is the minimum. Type more and we lock the exact larger amount you chose with your own adult fingers.
One winner per takeover, enforced by a database transaction instead of optimism, vibes or Gary from engineering saying ‘should be fine’. If somebody beats you while you pay, your authorization is voided and you are not charged. You get TOO SLOW, a fresh price and the exact emotional sensation of watching the lift doors close on your own face.
You buy temporary control of the primary advertising slot until another valid buyer replaces you. Not the domain. Not the company. No equity, IP, resale rights, guaranteed minutes, impressions, clicks or results. Your reign could last days or die before your coffee cools. That uncertainty is the product, not a bug wearing a fake moustache. Every reign stays in the archive with its real numbers. Winning sales are final.
Payment and creative approval are separate. We validate public HTTPS destinations and screen for malware, phishing, scams, illegal material, impersonation, hate and other sewage. If the creative fails review, a neutral placement appears while a human contacts you. The reign clock keeps running. Uploading garbage does not freeze the auction.
YES. IT'S AN AD. LOOK HOW REFRESHING HONESTY IS.
Nobody is ‘featured’ and nobody ‘partnered with us’. They paid. We show how much. Their ad owns the window until another buyer boots it into the archive. Advertising normally hides the receipt. Ours puts it in the headline.
Fraud review, maintenance or an emergency can pause the auction. The price freezes visibly and paused time never counts against the curve. No invisible decay. No calculator doing sneaky little crimes while everybody sleeps.
A BIGGER MOAT. NOT A BULLETPROOF VEST.
Pay more and the next buyer must begin higher up the mountain. You are not purchasing guaranteed minutes. You are making an immediate takeover more expensive. The table uses the real live curve. No horoscope maths and no marketing fondue.
READ THIS TWICE, THEN SLAP YOUR INNER LAWYER: these are curve times, not guaranteed reign times. A maniac can replace you one second after checkout. If nobody buys, you keep the ad even after the price hits the floor and lies there like a drunk kebab.
IS THE CURVE TOO FAST?
Right now the price gets chopped in half every 30 minutes. Faster means more panic and more takeovers. Slower gives owners a fatter moat. We tune it with real takeover rate, revenue per hour and repeat buyers, not with a consultant licking one finger and holding it in the wind.
FINE. BRING OUT THE TINY LAWYER IN YOUR HEAD.
CAN I GET A REFUND IF SOMEBODY REMOVES ME QUICKLY?+
No. Getting dethroned quickly is not a defective product; it is the entire product arriving on time with no trousers. You bought control until somebody replaces you, not a minimum sack of minutes. Lose the payment race and we do not charge you. Duplicate charge, wrong capture or a failure caused by us? A human reviews it and can refund it. Buyer regret wearing a fake moustache is still buyer regret.
IF I PAY MORE, HOW LONG DO I STAY?+
Nobody can promise duration unless we kidnap every other buyer and bury their Wi-Fi router. More money raises the next starting price, so replacing you immediately hurts more. It changes the curve, not human stupidity. The table shows the fall time if nobody attacks first.
CAN I UPLOAD MY LOGO OR AN IMAGE?+
Yes. Buy with your email, enter the buyer dashboard through a magic link and upload a PNG, JPEG or WebP. We review it before it goes live because accepting mystery SVG or HTML from strangers is how websites wake up in a bathtub without a kidney.
CAN YOU WRITE THE AD FOR ME?+
Yes. Tick WRITE MY AD FOR ME at checkout or request it from your dashboard. Give us the product, audience, proof and sacred cows you want barbecued. A human can rewrite headline, body and CTA, arrange logo and image, then fire the improved ad live while your reign is still breathing.
DOES A PRICE ALERT RESERVE THE PRICE?+
Absolutely not. It sends an email when the curve crosses your number. Somebody else can buy while the email is travelling, while you are reading it, or during the six-centimetre Himalayan expedition from inbox to buy button.
WHAT EXACTLY DO I OWN?+
The giant advertising placement until another valid buyer replaces you. Not the domain. Not equity. Not IP. Not a mystical dividend farting coins into your bank account. Your reign, price and measured results stay in the public archive like a tattoo your accountant can click.